Commuter book review: Becoming by Michelle Obama

Becoming

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Commuter book review: Metamorphosis by Polly Morland

“How and Why We Change”

“Omnia mutantur, nihil interit
Everything changes, but nothing is lost.
Ovid, Metamorphoses XV”
I don’t think there’s a way to review this book, well, let’s say I don’t know what I can say to summarise the book, that is concise and interesting enough, anything I can and will say will not give enough credit to what Polly has pulled together, overall it is an interesting read.
The book consists of different stories, stories of individuals who were not scared to take part in the psychology study which required people to answer two questions, how much they had changed and how much they expected to change.
As much as we are aware that we will change, some way or another, and every small or big change is the result of our experiences and environment, no one is truly aware of how much we change after each event. But the book makes you wonder how many of us actually consider the impact of our experiences, and where they take us in life.
“at learning to be not reactive but imaginative about the kind of future we want and why we want it”

The book has an interesting mix of individuals, while I found a little hard to relate to majority, I did consider my changes and where I would like to be. The book somehow felt like some people got better but their better wasn’t necessarily the good they dreamt of, it was more like getting second hand designer clothes with no label, probably the worst euphemism, but some of the stories weren’t shared exhaustively, probably because it was just a taster for the reader to digest…..
“we grow up. We grow old. We learn. We evolve, devolve, revolve. We get new jobs. We move house. We fall in love. And out of love. We make decisions. We change our minds. We become parents. People dear to us die. We are sad and then we are happy again. Old friends depart or fall from favour. New friends appear and make us smile. The sun sets. The sun rises. And tomorrow is a new day, every day, for everyone.”
Many of the stories in the book had catchy phrases, interesting parts, and highlighted changes that most of us have gone through or will experience some time in life, while we learn differently, deal with these changes differently, it is interesting to read from others and ponder how one would react to certain experiences.
“it is only a river because it flows”

“we are only human beings, not in spite of change, but because we change”

“everyone is changed in some way, small or large, by the job they do, the particular window on the world it affords”
I know a person who has changed and grown beautifully, a person who has experienced many destructive events, but continues to stand strong and to evolve into a better version every single day, so it is possible to move on from bad habits, bad decisions, it is possible to find the real you.

Changes, how and why do they changes us, the question is: how can we benefit from all the experiences we face?
“I like the man I am today”
Accept yourself, accept your attributes, accept what makes you different, what makes you, you. Accept your growth through your changes.
“is it going to be good for me, or is it going to be bad for me”
“healing is a matter of time, but it is also sometimes a matter of opportunity”
“so I have forgiven, not because it’s easy, but because I want to teach those people and others how we can make a good, a better world”
To be able to forgive is to free yourself from hurt, negative thoughts, and to enable yourself to get stronger and grow. But how much can one truly forgive?
“you cannot change everything, but you can change something”

Commuter choices ……. September’s Book

Foyles is definitely, without a doubt!!! My Fnac in London 

I read to explore, to discover, to learn, to grow; it’s for knowledge, for inspiration, and to manifest good things in my life. Reading helps me escape every days stresses, stops me from doing too much and keeps me grounded. While I am not an academic library person, I have always loved going into book shops to day dream. As I currently don’t have enough space, some books I get it on my Kindle so that I don’t have to find storage for it. 
Last week I met a friend at Waterloo station, and as I was too early I did what everybody does obviously, wink wink, I went into Foyles, an hour and seven devoured first chapters after, these are the books that caught my eye and if I could I would definitely brought them all home with me, but on the bright side I bought the one that has been in my mind for a while.
Side note: If you don’t want me to be late, or have to join me in a bookstore, don’t ask me to meet you, wait for you, anywhere where there’s a bookstore “hands covering eyes”!

In a sea of books, this is what I picked:

and the selection kept getting more interesting

Seriously, I want to build my own library!

I need to make time for these

Intriguing……

Couldn’t resist…. there’s history here


The first time I came across this book was probably over a year ago, I read the back cover page, a few pages of the first chapter and of the last chapter, but felt that I wasn’t ready to digest it all, felt that this book deserved commitment, and focus. But here it is now, and I am excited for what I am about to learn. 
From bookstores, recommendations to amazon, let me know where you find your books, and what you are currently reading.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Commuter book review: Boundaries by Adelyn Birch

 

 

 

In my opinion to be with someone who holds you back, causes anxiety and hinders your success is to put yourself in a box with no natural light.
The book by Adelyn Birch was a recommendation, one that opened my eyes in a different way, gave me clarity on how easy it is for women and even men to forgive certain behaviours that we deem normal, but are very soul destroying. The book is clear and concise, Adelyn focuses on the most important points, from signs on how to manage your reaction, to setting boundaries and when to cut it all off.
Wise words from the book:
“There comes a time when you must learn to be your own protector, your own advocate and your own best friend”
Adelyn couldn’t have said it better, knowing when to put yourself first is imperative, it not only helps you protect yourself but helps you guide others on how they should treat you, if they want to stay in your life.
“The more you practice upholding your boundaries, the more respect, love and support you will have in your life”
When you draw the line, you will either be respected or left alone, either way you will have more peace.
“You will have expectations of your partner, such as honesty, respect, loyalty, and emotional and physical safety.” And “When you don’t have boundaries, it means that you will put up with just about anything to be loved. But real love and a healthy relationship never require that you have no boundaries. In fact they require that you do.”
You need to list out what you will and won’t tolerate from a partner and communicate that, unless you know you will be able to react in a logical manner even if you haven’t been proactive, my advice is to follow Adelyn’s recommendation, write a list, remember that when in love you are blinded by emotions and then it will be too late to start setting boundaries. Know what you will accept and what you won’t tolerate for any reason, whilst the euphemism that the grass is always greener on the other side can ring true, do not stay in an unhealthy relationship if your reasons for staying are that you are scared to get into something worse.
One advice I agree with without question is to never tolerate abusive behaviour of any kind, a partner that loves you and cares for you should refrain from belittling you, humiliating you, yelling, being physically abusive or even giving you the silent treatment, these and many other types of abusive behaviour cannot be accepted. Someone who respects you and truly cares for you will not put you in a position where you feel unloved, disrespected and lonely.
An important point that the book highlights is that you are the only person who can control your actions and reactions, silent treatments do not go well with everyone, in case you are with someone who condones this sort of behaviour and you feel that it affects your relationship and how you feel about the other person, you are in your right to communicate your concerns and suggest solutions to ameliorate the situation and avoid falling into the silent treatment trap.
Make time to set physical, mental, emotional, material and spiritual boundaries.
Remember that you don’t need someone to fix you, and you shouldn’t put yourself in a position where you feel like fixing others.  
A good read if you have a 1h 30min train journey ahead of you.